Jokes

LOL.... Today is kinda sad cause i did not get the part in the handball competition... Quite sad i am. But anyhow, my sister asked me to be the OC also known as Official Chairperson of the something Leo NewsLetter. And I have to find 2 articles, one related to H1n1, and one related to dengue. Then i need to look for some Jokes too... SO i went google-ing and found a website . Jokes, I did not found some jokes that interest me at first, but later on i search for jokes about Little Johnny, and it is really Funny... Here's some of them... If u dun understand, ask me, cause i understand them

1.While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

2.Little Johnny asks his mother her age.
She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse.
When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"

3.A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."Mary answers, "He's in my heart."Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this."Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"


4.A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.

Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"

Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."

Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"

Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."

Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"

Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."


5.One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knew that he had an ''advanced'' vocabulary for his age, so she was trying to avoid calling on him. When the teacher asked for a word beginning with "A", Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher knew he would say "ass" so she called on Mary Lou, who said ''apple".
This continued through most of the alphabet, because his teacher knew that there was a cuss word that Johnny would say for every letter of the alphabet. Then she got to ''R''. She thought for a moment, but couldn't think of any cuss words that began with R, so she called on Johnny.

''R is for rats - big FUCKING rats, with twelve-inch cocks!''